What makes you authentically you?

Last week my college roomated posted this question on her blog: What makes you authentically you? What makes you who you are? Different from everyone else? Well, here's a run-down of some of the things that make me authentically me.
1. I hate waking up early. If I had my choice I'd stay up late and sleep late.
2. I like the story. I want to know why and how about everything. And if you tell me about a person I'm going to make you describe him/her to me so that I can get a mental image.
3. As previously mentioned, I am lazy about the little things. Just today I didn't make file folders for vocab tests because I just didn't want to.
4. I've become more domestic since dating Steve and I like it. I cook, clean, do yard work, and I've never been happier. Even when I'm picking up pine cones.
5. I worry that people think I'm not smart.
6. I can never watch the following movies enough: Love Actually, Steel Magnolias, Sense and Sensibility.
7. I look at my engagement ring a million times a day. I really belived that I'd be single forever and I'm still amazed that I'm actually getting married.
8. I am a strict follower of expiration dates.
9. I like to be surrounded by pictures of the people I love.
10. I like to sing to my dog. I make up songs and put her name into other songs. "I love Grace, from her tail up to her face..."
11. I wish I was sillier (sometimes, not all the time).
12. Venice is my favorite place on Earth and think that I could live there even though it's so far away from my family.
13. I am a slow reader. I'm very thorough and can't skim anything: I have to read every single word. I used to be embarassed by that fact but now I think it helps me relate to my students.
14. I don't hate football. In fact, I have a fantasy team.
15. I have a hard time making decisions. I usually know what I want, I just have a hard time committing to it.
Keep this topic going. What makes you authentically you?

Random acts of blogging...

I briefly abandoned my blogging endeavor only to now be addicted to posting things that people may or may not read. So today I'm going to share some random information. Just random little facts that I feel compelled to share with the world.

1. I am a terrible speller. I have no idea whether compelled has one l or two. Usually I check this type of thing. And people always say to me: "but you're an English teacher! Shouldn't you be able to spell?" No, I shouldn't. I know lots of big words, I just don't know how to spell them.
2. I'm lazy about the little things. Laundry? Sure I'll do it. Vacuum? Okay.(BTW, who the hell knew that vacuum had two 'u's? It certainly wasn't me!) Put the Netflix movie in the mailbox? Check the correct spelling of compelled? No way. That's too much work.
3. I think my job would be absolutely perfect if school started at 9:45 instead of 7:45. Would it be too much to ask for a girl to get to sleep until 7:00 instead of waking up at 5:00?
4. That is all.

31?

Can it be? Will I really be 31 in just 4 days? It seems impossible that 30 has just flown by. You may remember that I handled 30 pretty well. No crying or moping involved. Well, turning 31 isn't going quite so well. There's been a little crying and some moping. 31 just doesn't seem as cool as 30. 30 and I'm still young and fun and not old. 31 and I'm now actually in my 30s. In an attempt to bring myself out of this funk I've decided to make a list of 31 things that make me happy. Hopefully this will cheer me up and help me focus on all the good stuff that I have instead of the stuff I don't.
1. The world's best boyfriend. I couldn't have ever hoped to find someone so amazing.
2. A wonderful family with whom I am close.
3. Great friends, most of whom are teachers, that help me avoid insanity during the summer months.
4. Summer vacation. Enough said.
5. My wonderful dog, Gracie, and Steve's wonderful dog, Boomer.
6. A trip to Italy. (Just 11 more days!)
7. A job I love.
8. Books.
9. Homemade ice cream (is it just a Southern thing?)
10. Nachitos, chicken only, no quacamole.
11. A glass of wine.
12. Long baths.
13. Crappy summer television.
14. Air conditioning.
15. Cotton dresses.
16. A new haircut.
17. Snazzy sunglasses.
18. Sunday mornings.
19. Phone calls from someone special.
20. Catalogs in the mail.
21. Email coupons.
22. Uno.
23. NPR.
24. Naps.
25. Sweet tea.
26. BBQ sandwiches.
27. Sleeping in.
28. New school supplies.
29. Swimming in the pool.
30. Crocheting.
31. Turning 31. (In the wise words of my dad "It's better than the alternative!)

Kudos from a friend & feelings of guilt...

So I posted a hello a couple weeks ago and promised to write more, but have not done it yet. So imagine the guilt (and happiness) I felt when I read my friend Nancy's blog and found that she had awarded me the Versatile Blogger award. I appreciate the recognition and am glad that someone is reading. I feel bad about not blogging more, though. Now that the summer is here I plan to blog more. I don't have too much else to do (except for an AMAZING trip that I'll blog more about later) so I have plenty of time to get some blogging done. Now, the rules of this award, as I understand them, are that I have to tell seven things about myself and then pass the award along to bloggers that I enjoy. So here are my seven things:
1. When I find something I like I stick with it. Movies, food, restaurants, songs on the radio...I stick with them until I've had/heard/been to them so much that I can't stand them any more. Then I have to stop it for a while. But when I go back to whatever it was that I'd overdone it's like visiting an old friend. The only exception to this so far is Mexican food. I could eat it every day to the week and never get tired of it.
2. I have never had a full time regular job during the summer. I went from public school, to college, began teaching, stopped briefly but was unemployed for the two summer months, and then returned to teaching. Of course there were summers where I held down part-time jobs, but I have no idea what it's like to work a full-time regular 12 month job.
3. I am about to go to Europe for the first time and I am so excited I can barely stand it. In less than a month Steve and I are setting out for 9 days in Italy. I've never left North America before, and the only time I've left the US was when I went to Mexico on a cruise. I can't wait!
4. I don't have just one favorite book. There are so many that I have read that I absolutely love that I can't possibly narrow it down to just one favorite. I have been able to narrow it down to a top five. They are: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy, Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, and One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. If you need some summer reading any of these are wonderful choices!
5. During the summer I watch more crap TV than anyone should ever be allowed to. I am absolutely addicted to The Real Housewives of New Jersey and last week I discovered You're Cut Off. I can't explain why these shows appeal to me, but they do, and only during the summer months.
6. I long to be a person who does crafty and domestic things but I am terrible at them. My mom quilts and crochets and sews and my friend Nancy (see her great and crafty blog at voulezvouscrochetavecmoi.blogspot.com) is one of the most talented and craftiest people I know and I want to do those things but I am terrible at them. I'm also not a great cook. The food is always edible but I don't ever think it's as good as other people's food. I plan to keep trying and hopefully get better at these things.
7. Conflict makes me physically uncomfortable, and I don't even have to be in it to be uncomfortable, sometimes just watching it on tv makes me feel anxious.
So there are my seven things. It took me a while to come up with seven things that I thought someone else may find interesting. (Probably why it's taken me so long to blog anything!).
Now it's time to pass the mantle on to blogs that I enjoy. So here they are:
Courtney @ Life These Days
Tiffany (Crafty Fanny) @ Live Happy
Traci @ Pictures and Posts of Life and Art
Thanks for the great blogs ladies! I enjoy reading them all!

My Christmas List

So Christmas is almost here and children everywhere are mailing their wish lists off to Santa. I've decided to write one of my own. Here's what I want for Christmas.
1. Peace and quiet in my classroom. I love teaching and I like my students and they're not bad kids. I just wish they would be quiet. I really believe that they don't know what to do with silence. They are constantly making noise. If they aren't talking, they're rustling paper, clicking pens, tapping their feet...the noise just never ends. I'd like just a few minutes a day of absolute silence in my classroom.
2. SYTYCD to never end. I am so in love with this show. It makes me smile. I am always so sad when the season is over. Please don't go away, So You Think You Can Dance!
3. The laundry fairy to come and do my laundry. My least favorite chore in the world is washing clothes. I know it's not labor intensive, I just hate it. I wish it would just wash itself. A girl can dream, right?
4. UNC to win the national chapionship. I LOVE Carolina basketball. I always want the Heels to win.
Please Santa, I've been a good girl. Please bring me these things for Christmas!

For what am I thankful?

I've been meaning to post a list of things for which I am thankful for a while now, but I've been pretty busy. This year, more than any other, I truly realize how much I have to be thankful for. So here's my list, but by no means does this cover it all.

1. Family. I have a wonderful family that I love so much. My mom and dad are so supportive and my brother helps me whenever I need it. I realize how lucky I am to have such a great relationship with them. I am also lucky to have an extended family with which I am close and get to see often.

2. My boyfriend. I don't post a lot about him here, but I am such a lucky girl to have found such a wonderful man. I am thankful for him and all that he brings to my life.

3. Dog. Gracie is easily the cutest dog in the whole world. She is sweet and cuddly and is great to come home to and cuddle with after a long day at school.

4. My job. Even though it sometimes makes me absolutely crazy I love my job. I feel that teaching is my purpose in life. How many people can say that they get to do what they feel they were meant do to?

5. Those are the biggies. Here's a list of some other things that brighten up my life: Sunday mornings, internet friends, UNC basketball, quiet classrooms, workdays, chapstick, fuzzy socks, books, sappy love songs, the list goes on and on.

What are you thankful for this year?

Trying some new things and retrying some old...

One of the goals of this blog was to chronicle all the new things I was going to try this year. Well, I've tried some new stuff and I've tried some stuff that I used to do all over again. Some things have been successful, others have not. I've enjoyed going to baseball games and bowling (although I'm really bad at it). I played putt putt for the first time in over a decade and had a great time. I went roller skating and that didn't go so well. It was a much better idea in my mind than in reality. It seems I forgot that I actually needed some sort of physical coordination to roller skate. Funny how much more worried you are about breaking an arm or a leg or your skull at 30 than you were at 13. This weekend I'm going to try to play tennis. I've only played tennis once in my life, at camp when I was 11 years old. I don't know if I'll be any good, but I'm going to give it a shot. Either way, I know I'll have a good time.

Absolute joy

As usual, I am spending my Friday night lounging on my couch and watching a movie. Today I decided I wanted to watch one that would make me laugh and cry so I chose Love Actually which is one of my favorite movies of all time. There are so many great scenes in this movie. One of my favorites is when Laura Linney's character is brought home by the cute guy she's been in love with forever. She is so excited that she has to excuse herself to jump up and down. I absolutely love that. It reminds me of the scene in Sense & Sensibility when Emma Thompson finds out that Hugh Grant isn't married. She is so overcome with joy that she breaks into a crying jag. And so do I. Both of these scenes make me so happy that I cry and smile at the same time. They are moments of absolute, pure joy and it can't be contained. How often do moments like that come along in our lives? Not nearly often enough. I've come as close as I ever have to experiencing pure joy this year, a year that I hadn't expected to be so amazing. Here's to hoping we all get to experience these moments, and that we get to do it soon.

Trying again...

I'm doing it. I'm trying again. I'm starting over on Weight Watchers. I started on the first day of school. I know, I'm crazy. Going back to school and starting a diet all on the same day? I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. So I'm almost one week in and doing well so far. I've lost almost 3 pounds so far. I haven't starved myself. I have eaten some of the foods that I have tended to gorge myself on, but I've eaten them in moderation and eaten lighter foods for the rest of the day. I have learned that the spray ranch dressing tastes like, well, I won't say what it tastes like, but needless to say it isn't good. The peach Fiber One yogurt, however, is fabulous. It may be the best yogurt I've ever eaten. I know that I can do this. I've done it before. I just need to stick to it and stay focused. I may never be thin but I can be healthier.

My new obsession with orange and my old obsession with fall...

Fall is almost here and I'm feeling very autumny lately. I can't wait for cool crisp days, jeans, sweaters, and jackets. Because of this (I think) I've been drawn to things that are orange lately. It all started with with the Brita water pitcher that Curt gave me for my birthday. Today at Target I bought a bowl with on orange border. You may have also noticed that I changed the template of my blog. I'm feeling very orange lately! I can't wait for fall and my new orange items are helping me feel like it's getting here faster!

Amazed

I'm amazed by how quickly life can change. It seems to happen just when you expect it least, when you're sure that the things you wanted were too much to ask for, that you would never find the things that you were looking for.
Dear God,
Please help me to remember everyday what a lucky girl I am and not to take anything for granted.
A.

Ode to School Supplies

I have to go back to school in one week. My favorite part of going back to work after a 10 week vacation? School supplies!
My school supply shopping list:
colored ink pens
board markers
3 ring binders
paper clips
mechanical pencils
clorox hard surface cleaner
kleenex
colored paper
post-it notes in all shapes, colors, & sizes
hilighters
Is there anything better than going back to school shopping?

I'm Jealous...

Today I went to see Julie & Julia. It was absolutely adorable. I smiled through the entire movie. I left quite jealous, however. I'm jealous that I'm not a good cook. There are several reasons for this. I lack the patience required to cook. I want dinner done now. Also, I'm lazy. This is a fact that I've come to accept about myself. Cooking makes a big mess in the kitchen. There are lots of dishes to clean when the cooking is all done. And buying lots of fresh ingredients is expensive and I'm on a fixed income. I'm also a space cadet. I always come home from the grocery store missing at least one ingredient. These are all reasons I tell myself I can't cook. But the fact is, that I enjoy cooking. The last time I really cooked was when I made chicken marsala and homemade mashed potatoes when Steve came over for dinner for the first time. I had a good time cooking and I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I was so proud of myself for producing this great meal. I will make an effort to cook more, and to experiment with different types of food. I can (and will) become a better cook!

Confession

Those of you who know me probably know that I don't like conflict. I like things to be peaceful and harmonious. I like things this way so much that I am willing to be miserable myself in order to avoid confrontational situations or situations in which others are unhappy. I feel terrible if I choose a movie or restaurant that someone else doesn't like so I usually let the other person choose. I don't usually ask for much help even when it's painfully obvious that I need it because I don't want to inconvenience people. I like to make everyone happy. Well, almost everyone. I'm not so great at making me happy. This is something that I need to work on. Standing up for what I want and need and what will make me happy. There are ways to do this without making me or anyone else unhappy and I just have to look for ways to accomplish that goal. Compromise is my new favorite word.

My summer vacation

If I were to have to write an essay about my summer vacation, I'm afraid it wouldn't be very exciting to anyone other than me, and that's the way I like it. My adventures have been limited but the good times have not. Does that make me sad? No. I prefer quiet good times to loud ones. I prefer a small group of close friends to a large group of acquaintances. I prefer staying in to going out. Does that make me a boring person? I'm sure to some it does, but it's just fine with me. I've gotten to do a lot of great things this summer.
I visited my friend Nancy in Asheville. It was my first real trip to Asheville. I got to see the drum circle (oh my!) and hike (almost) all the way to the top of a mountain. I also hitchhiked for the first time and watched Cats. All in all, it was a fantastic weekend!
I've read lots of books. I didn't enjoy them all, but I do always enjoy the act of reading. I know everyone else really enjoyed Wicked but I just couldn't get into it. I love to read and love that summer vacation gives me time to do that.
I've watched lots of crappy tv (my favorite kind) and lots of movies I've never seen before. I became addicted to The Real Housewives of New Jersey and am very sad that The Fashion Show ended last night (although Project Runway starts in just a few weeks!). I've also been making my way through classic movies according to Steve. So far I've seen Bull Durham, Caddyshack and Fletch.
I've spent quite a bit of time lounging and sunning myself at the pool. I am working on a decent tan and it's coming along nicely so far. I even played Marco Polo with a 5 year old.
I've had breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with my friends. I love getting to spend time with them. During the school year we are all so busy and it's nice to get to see them and share a good meal.
I'm sure to a lot of people, this sounds like a horrendous waste of time. I have however, recharged my batteries and spent a lot of time doing things that I like to do. Once the school year starts I won't have nearly as much time to do all of these things so it's nice to take a few weeks and do them now.

30 Reasons I'm Happy to be Turning 30...

So 30 is now only 9 days away and I'm handling this transition really well. As I mentioned before, I think it's because I'm so happy with my life right now. So I've decided to list 30 reasons I'm happy to be turning 30. I'm not going to finish the list today. I'll be 30 for 365 days. Surely over the course of the year there will be more reasons to be happy about being 30. And, let's face it, 30 is a lot of reasons. I'll revisit this list as my 30th year progresses. Today I'll start with 3.
1. I know who I am. In the past I've tried to be other people. The person some guy wanted me to be. The girl that my best friend was. Now, I'm just me. And I'm comfortable with that. There are things that I really like about me and those would disappear if I tried to be someone else. It's taken me 30 years to figure this out.
2. I know that my happiness comes from me, not things outside of me. Yesterday I had lunch with Steve and he ordered hash brown casserole, which he proceeded to cover in ketchup. I said "It already has cheese in it!" He told me that the ketchup was just a continuation of the goodness started with the cheese. That's how I think happiness should work. I'm the hash brown casserole. I already have good stuff going on. The outside stuff is the ketchup. The casserole is good without it, but it's a continuation of the goodness.
3. I've learned to accept my body. Is my body perfect? Far from it. I know that I need to lose weight. I know that I can do it, I've done it before. Am I going to waste time hating myself because of it? No. Life it too short for that. I can try to improve myself without self-loathing. There are things that I like about myself. I like my eyes. I like my smile. I've learned to appreciate what I have without being complacent.
So here are the first 3. Stay tuned, there are 27 more to come!
August 24, 2009: Reason #4
4. I have overcome the need to have any sort of drama in my life. As a high school teacher I know that young girls (and some boys) live for drama. And so do some of their mamas. I am at a place in my life where I believe that the less drama I have in my life the better. I talk to adults all the time who are always in the midst of a crisis. Well, I don't want that in my life at all. I like it when life is simple. I don't like chaos and fuss and disorder. (Why do I teach high school?) I went to a friend for advice about a difficult decision and he told me not to pray for an answer but for peace and it turned out to be great advice. I now ask God for peace in whatever situation I am faced with and it has made the biggest change in my attitude and mindset. Is it God answering my prayer? I think so, but I also think it's me reminding myself that I don't have control over everything so I have to find peace with it. It's me and God working together to figure stuff out. So, in short, if you want to talk about drama go talk to someone else!

Up....

Last weekend I went to visit Nancy and we saw the movie "Up." This movie really spoke to me. As most of you know, I will be turning 30 in just 10 short days. I'm handling this upcoming milestone much better than I thought I would. There's been no crying, wailing, or gnashing of teeth. I'm not dressing all in black. I haven't retreated from the world and holed myself up in my apartment, eating Ben & Jerry's and never getting out of my pajamas. I'm okay with turning 30. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm so happy right now. My life isn't what I thought it would be at this point, but it's pretty damn good. "Up" really made me realize that my life may not be the adventure that I had planned, but it's still an adventure and I'd better get with the program and enjoy it.
When I was 18 (was that really so long ago?), I filled out one of those senior memory books that asks you where you want to be in 10 years. I had a plan. I was a girl who knew what she wanted. I would meet the love of my life during college, marry him shortly after graduating, immediately begin having kids, and live somewhere (anywhere) other than Franklin County.
That's not what has happened. I didn't meet Mr. Right in college. I didn't even date all that much. I did, however, make some life-long friends, travel, do lots of fun stuff, and even managed to learn a few things, too. I loved college and had a great time and I wouldn't change anything about it.
I didn't get married right after college, or even yet. I've dated some great guys (and some not so great ones) and I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I have to be myself: that changing to fit what you think someone else wants just doesn't work. I learned that I am more independent and self-reliant than I thought I could be. I still want to get married, but I'm glad that I didn't do it when I was younger. I would have been a terrible wife. I think my chances of having a successful marriage are greater now than they would have been eight years ago.
I don't have kids. That is such a good thing. There are days when it's all I can do to take care of myself and my dog. When I was younger I wanted lots of kids. I also went through a phase when I didn't want any kids. Now I want to have one child (maybe two, but probably just one). I was much too selfish to have kids before this point in my life.
While I don't live in Franklin County, I do work there. I wanted to get out of Franklin County. I thought that was the one thing in my life that I could accomplish, but here I am, making the drive to Louisburg every day. I love teaching at Louisburg High School. My students are challenging but I love them and I think they need me. I love my job and wouldn't change it for anything. I want to make a career there.
Now 30 is here and I've been thinking about how things have turned out. I have friends that are amazing and that I've known since childhood. I have friends that are new that I love so much. I have an amazing job that I know I was meant for. I have a family that is wonderful and loves me. I have an apartment that I've finally finished decorating. I have a dog that is the cutest and sweetest dog in the whole world. I am dating a wonderful man that makes me very happy.
My life isn't what I'd hoped it'd be when I was 18 years old. It's so much better.

April is the cruelest month...

This year I have found that T.S. Eliot knew what he was talking about when he said "April is the cruelest month." (It's the first line from "The Waste Land" if anyone is interested.) Now, nothing truly terrible has happened to me this month, just a series of annoying incidents, that combined, make for a month that is, at best, a comedy of errors.
On Sunday the 5th, while driving home from date #2 (which was really fun!) I was rear-ended by a guy who was tailgating and not paying attention. Luckily, Gracie and I were uninjured, but Betsy (by cute little Corolla) didn't fare quite as well. She's been in the shop for over two weeks now getting a new rear. The rental car that I have been driving (a Grand Prix) has been problematic. Today I had to return it to the rental agency because a warning light came on for the second time. And the driver's door locked when I got out to put gas in it. The other doors were unlocked, but I didn't find this out until there was already a patrolman there trying to unlock the door. Talk about feeling like an idiot! The rental agency gave me a new car, which I'm totally in love with (a Toyota 4Runner) and of course, my car is scheduled to be done tomorrow. Just my luck.
On the Sunday after the car accident I awoke in the middle of the night with the most painful acid reflux of my life. The next morning my throat was swollen nearly shut from the irritation and I was in pain every time I swallowed. Luckily, I am fine, but that was an annoying way to start my spring break. Not to mention I spent $50 dollars at the Urgent Care getting a diagnosis: there's nothing we can do for you.
On Monday I was in the middle of teaching my English II class (sophomores) when I sat down on my stool and crack...bam. The stool broke and I came crashing to the floor, hitting my head on the radiator behind me. I opened my eyes to see 20 15 year olds, mouths agape, eyes bulging, waiting to see if I was alive. Luckily, having been clumsy for my entire life, I'm used to these things, so I said "I'm okay, you can laugh." Luckily (again), my sophomores, while a chatty bunch, are great kids. They asked me if I was okay and didn't laugh (too much). Now, two days later, I still have a sore knot on the back of my head, which makes styling my hair every morning a painful experience.
Again, none of these things are horrible, they are just annoying. I guess it's better to have a series slightly annoying incidents than one really huge terrible accident, so I'm trying to be thankful for that. I just want this month (or at least my streak of bad luck) to be over!

Things to celebrate

I've come to realize that my blog has taken a somewhat whiny tone and I don't like it. I make a concerted effort, every day, not to whine. I know what a lucky girl I am and try to remember to say a prayer of thanks each day. There are days that I forget, but I think I do it more than I don't. My life certainly isn't perfect, but there are more good things than bad, and that's more than a lot of people can say, especially right now. So, in an effort not to forget all of the things in my life I have to celebrate, here's a short list of things that make my imperfect, wonderful life a little more enjoyable.
1. Great friends. I have wonderful friends whom I love very much. Most of them, I've known since I was a little girl. How lucky I am to have such loyal people in my life!
2. Wonderful family. I love my parents very much. My mom is my best friend. My dad is very supportive. My brother, who still irks me beyond belief, loves me. When I need something he's always there.
3. A job I love. Do my students drive me absolutely insane on a daily basis? Yes. Do I love getting to know them and watch them grow up? Absolutely.
4. A wonderful dog. My Gracie is the best dog on the planet. She is sweet and gentle and I love cuddling up to her warm fur on cold nights.
5. Books. I love reading. I love to pick up a book and travel to another place and time. It's a free vacation I can take without leaving my apartment.
6. Spring. It's finally here! The sun is out, the flowers are blooming, and (in spite of the pollen) it's a great time of year!
7. Summer vacation. I'm looking forward to spending the summer lounging by the pool, devouring books, and exercising more. Teachers are the luckiest people in the world!
It's easy for us all to focus on the bad things in our lives. They seem to take up so much more time and energy. It's important, though, for us to remember all the things we have in our lives that make them worth living!

Because sometimes I get tired of waiting and I know Emily understands me.

VI. -Emily Dickinson

If you were coming in the Fall,
I'd brush the Summer by
With half a smile, and half a spurn,
As Housewives do, a Fly.

If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls --
And put them each in separate Drawers,
For fear the numbers fuse --

If only Centuries, delayed,
I'd count them on my Hand,
Subtracting, till my fingers dropped
Into Van Dieman's Land.

If certain, when this life was out --
That yours and mine, should be
I'd toss it yonder, like a Rind,
And take Eternity --

But, now, uncertain of the length
Of this, that is between,
It goads me, like the Goblin Bee --
That will not state -- its sting.